Happiness
by PW 1
Summary: I already uploaded this but ... just read the note inside and see why.


ARG!! I had this uploaded already but I accidentally included it in one of my chapters and I couldn't get it out of there. Does anyone else HATE how ff.net keeps on switching. Can't they make up their minds already?? Its just so frustrating!!! 

Happiness

by: Pixie Wings

Hilde walked down the street of Colony L2 looking rather glum. She had spent the last couple of weeks thinking about her one and only savior. Yes, her savior. He had saved her from becoming another one of OZ's mindless drones. He had saved her when she was being attacked when she was going to give the pilots the information on Libra. He had kept her company when she was lonely. 

He deserved to be happy. He probably deserved to be happy the most out of all the Gundam pilots. He wanted her to let him be happy.... but she couldn't. Not if it ment losing him to Heero Yuy. She felt that she was being selfish...yes, she was being selfish, but why him and not her? She truly cared for him, she stayed by his side waiting patiently, willing to give her life up if it ment saving his! 

Yet, he only saw her as a friend... so he said. Hilde stomped down the street mad at herself for not being happy for Duo, but she was equally mad at Heero, Duo, and yes, even Relena. 'How could she just sit by and let this happen! She cared for Heero but she let this happen! What about me! How could she be happy for them?!'

"OOOHHHH! This is driving me CRAZY!" Hilde yelled out to the colony. A few people turned their heads to stare at the girl, and continued on with what they were doing. "Oh this is so frustrating! Why did this have to happen to me!" 

Hilde let out a sigh and continued to walk towards her small, lonely apartment by herself once again. She slammed the door behind her and fell into her couch. She balled her hands into fists and squeezed them with all her might. When she finally uncurled her small hands, blood began to drip from her fresh self inflicted wounds from her fingernails. 

She sat there staring at the blood for a few minutes, her face was void of any emotion at all, she had become comatose when Duo had told her the truth about him and Heero. She no longer felt anything but loneliness and sorrow mixed with a small hint of anger. She didn't feel any pain, her mind had shut her off from the outside world. Duo had been her link to the world, after all, he was one of her only friends. 

She could count all the friends that she had on only one hand, there was, Relena, Duo, and once upon a time (at least she considered him a friend) Heero. She had never really made any real effort to get to know the other Gundam pilots, she always thought that she had everything she needed...Duo. Relena and Heero were just a bonus put off to the side...until lately...

Hilde shook her head to clear it from any images of Heero. She needed to tend to her hands or she might just catch some sort of infection. She sloppily cleaned her wounds and recklessly wrapped them up as fast as she could. After she had taken care of that she began to fix dinner for herself. 

She always made dinner with care, making sure to mix the appropriate amount of ingredients, measuring everything that went into the saucepan. She stood there stirring the food remembering how Duo would always try to sneak some food when she had her back turned. 

A soft smile crept across her face, the first in weeks. Whenever she did catch him sneaking the food she would swat him with her spatula and practically beat him until he crawled out of the kitchen. 

Hilde became so caught up in her memories that she forgot that she was suppose to be stirring her food. The smell of burnt food finally managed to shake her from her memories. "Oh Shit" 

She quickly threw the food into the sink and turned the cold water on over the smoldering remains of what was suppose to be her dinner.

"how damn stupid can I get!" Hilde scolded herself as she slammed her palm on the countertop. Her blood stained the counters, her wounds had been exposed again due to her terrible first aid. She let out a groan but made no attempt to stop the bleeding. "It'll stop itself..." 

"No use anyway......" she muttered before deciding to go straight to bed. She stayed up the entire night, once again, just thinking of what Duo and her could have shared together. She began to imagine little boys with braids and light blue eyes that resembled their daddy and little girls who were riding of Duo's shoulders letting out streams of laughter when he reached up and tickled them. She imagined her and Duo becoming old together making fun of anything and everything that came their way... making fun of life. 

How ironic... she was no longer carefree making fun of life... but life was making fun of her. She would never see those children, and she would never be allowed to grow old with Duo by her side. No... that wasn't what fate had in store for her. She would never know Duo's intimate embrace, or feel him kissing her in the way a man in love kisses the person he truly loves. 

No... it wouldn't be her who would be comforted and kissed and loved whenever she was feeling less than adequate... No of course not... It would be that emotionless Heero Yuy. The person Relena 'claimed' to love. If she loved him so much than why did she let him go? Didn't she want his children as much as she wanted Duo's? Why didn't she stop Heero from going to Duo?

"...because she was weak... she didn't stand up to him that's why!" Hilde whispered to the ceiling. "but you didn't put up much of a fight either... Stupid Hilde....stupid, worthless, no good Hilde..." 

She curled herself into a ball and began her ritual. Something she did every night since Duo left her. She cried her heart out. This would continue until she either fell asleep from sheer exhaustion from crying, or until daybreak came. 

Daybreak came first.

She stretched her limbs and took a quick shower. After dressing herself in dark colored clothes, preparing herself for a confrontation with Relena Peacecraft. Yes, a visit to the Vice Foreign Minister will do the trick. 'Give her a piece of your mind and make sure she feels guilty about ruining your life....'

Hilde allowed a cold smirk as she looked in the mirror. She looked like hell... the way she wanted to look, her semi bandaged hands just added to the effect. She then marched to the airport and boarded her flight to the Sanq Kingdom. 

Today would be a glorious day. Yes, she would watch that Peacecraft princess pay for what she couldn't do... she would make her pay for letting Heero go. Relena would pay for what she, herself, couldn't do. 

Hilde closed her eyes to get a better picture of what Relena's face would look like when she confronted her, but fell into a dreamless sleep instead. 

She awoke to a stranger shaking her shoulder telling her that they had arrived. She quickly got up and brushed by him without a thank you. She had more important things to waste her time on. 

She barged into Relena's huge office and sat down in one of the cushioned chairs listening to Relena's secretary whine behind her.

"Mary its alright... She's a friend" Relena called to her secretary who just shook her head in disapproval and went back to work. 

"God Hilde, you look like hell! What happened are you alright?!?" Relena asked worriedly as she rounded her desk to sit next to Hilde.

"Oh really?!? No kidding, and here I thought I looked like a goddamn goddess, Thank you for informing me! And why would I be alright? You know what happened!" Hilde said, her voice shaking with anger at seeing how Relena had seemed to just go on with her life. 'How could she? has she no heart?'

"...Hilde... Hilde your not still mad about Duo are you?" Relena asked, concern shining in her eyes for one of her few trusted friends.

"Yes I am, Unlike you I actually cared and loved Duo! I tried to reason with Duo for both our sakes and yet you allowed Heero to go off and take Duo away from me! This is your fault, ALL of this!" Hilde screeched, waving her hands about frantically trying to display the hell that she had been put through. 

"Hilde, I did nothing but allow them to be happy... they deserve all the happiness they can get, and I will support them all the way! and don't say I don't love or care for Heero, because I always have and I always will... I let him go because I loved him, because without happiness.... what is life?" Relena said looking at her own hands. "We will eventually find our happiness in this life... but it isn't going to be with who we want... its always who we least suspect." Relena finished looking at Hilde.

'God she's right...' Hilde thought as tears began to spring from her eyes. "Your right Relena... I'm sorry... so sorry... I knew but... I guess ... I just didn't want to see..." Hilde broke down crying leaning against Relena. 

"Shhh... its alright Hilde, everyone is blinded in life in one way or another, I was once... but not anymore. We will overcome this Hilde... we will find our happiness... no matter what." Relena finished, tears streaking down her face. 

Hilde sniffed and looked up to the Vice Foreign Minister in appreciation. "Thank you... So much Relena.... thank you" 

"Anytime Hilde..." Relena smiled.

The two friends spent the rest of the day conversing on different things, totally avoiding the subject of either Heero or Duo. They vowed to always keep in touch no matter what, and that they did.

~*~*~7 years later~*~*~

"Duo! It's so good to see you again!" Hilde smiled as she gave her old friend a hug. 

"Good to see you too Hilde!" Duo said with the characteristic huge grin of his, "So where's the little terrors eh?"

Hilde let out a laugh, "Oh you'll hear them very soon"

"UNCLE DUO!!!" Three sets of childrens voices yelled as they tackled their 'uncle'

"Hey you bugs how you all doing!"

Hilde smiled as her husband of six years kissed her on the cheek. It seemed so wonderful, she had met her husband one night at a restaurant, and then two months later they were married, one year later the twins came into the world. Soon after the twin boys came their little girl. 

Hilde smiled and leaned against her husband while watching Duo converse in child talk with her young children. She allowed her eyes to wander to meet Relena's. They both smiled and waved. Yes life had finally given her, her own happiness, and had given Relena her's a few years ago when she married her husband. She was now eight months pregnant with a 'tiny terror'. Affectionately named due to the fact that it loved to kick around alot.

She watched as Heero said his formal hellos to the happy family and made his way over to Duo. 

"Hello Hilde" he said in a light voice. A happy voice.

"Hello Heero... so when are Quatre and Trowa coming?" Hilde asked smiling at her friend.

"Pretty soon... Unfortunately Wufei and Sally couldn't make it due to baby problems" Heero smirked at that line.

Hilde laughed "Wufei and a baby put together in the same room would make some problems" she smiled remembering Wufei's strong opinions. She had gotten to know the Gundam Pilots soon after she and Relena had their talk.

Quatre and Trowa arrived together as was to be expected, and every one all began to talk and chatter at once. Each reliving important events in their lives and associated it with everyone elses. Hilde couldn't help but smile....

When it came to her to tell about a significant event in her life that was to be associated with everyone else, she smiled and told of the time she thought that life was cruel to her, when it was actually doing her a favor.

She told of how she had decided that she would be happy no matter what, even if it ment finding her happiness with someone else. And she had, both Relena and her were the happiest they had ever been. 

She could tell that the rest of the Gundam Pilots were just as happy as she was at that moment, and she felt good about life... She could now live in her own version of happily ever after. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I felt I owed this to her ya know ~,^ Well... I mean that so many stories are written about how Relena reacts to finding out Heero wanted to be with Duo instead of her and hardly any on poor Hilde *sniff* (I must admit I've done one about the Relena finds out thing) 

I could have gone for the sad ending... which would have fit in nicely... but, I felt the need for something a little less angsty... So... I gave everyone a happy ending ^_^ (even though I don't necessarily believe in them... just in stories that don't come true) Well tell me what you think of this please!

~Pixie Wings~

(hey this was my first stand alone fic! *cheers and claps excitedly*)

Oh and please go check out my webpage! (yeah my webpage... now don't pass out just yet ... look at it first and sign the guestbook if you feel the need to! )

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http://www.geocities.com/pixie_wings_o/

Disclaimer:

I don't own Gundam wing or any of the characters associated with it. You wouldn't want to sue me unless you want a cranky cat and a dumb computer..... (yes...dumb) 


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